I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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