I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize