We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
