i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize