dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize