Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just puked most of my soul out..
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize