I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
