and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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