We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
