i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Randomize
