If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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