Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
