if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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