yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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