I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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