I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
