you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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