The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
