I like my sex mixed with concussions.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
