i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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