Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Randomize
