yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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