Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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