doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
