And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
