I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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