I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
