I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
