i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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