I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
