My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize