i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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