i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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