the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
