As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Is it penis luge time yet?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
