I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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