Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
