Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This is classic penis vs brain.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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