im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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