i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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