I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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