is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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