The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I am spending my child support on dildos
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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