how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Randomize
