This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
