I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
