Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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