Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
