yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
