Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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