On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
