everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
