Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
