Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
