is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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