no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
