Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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