whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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