Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
