is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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