she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
