ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
