apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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