we have officially lost it.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
