Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
